Cold feet? - 12:45 PM, Apr. 29, 2006

A brand new Bavaria 37, to be delivered next spring, on a 3 1/2 year charter management scheme. The financing's sorted , the contract arrived yesterday, and is waiting to be signed. But can I really do it? Am about to invest a large chunk of my equity in this project. Am the kind of person who won't buy new shoes until the old ones are in tatters, so the reality of buying a boat is way off my radar screen. And every time I pick up a yachting magazine, my remaining neurone focusses on the horror stories. At night, my dreams go through all the bad bits of my past sailing experience.Will soon have to replace pyjamas with life jacket! Even Swagman's wonderful tales only yield Sue's sesickness and wet bunks.

But if we don't do it, what will the future be? Gardening (which we both hate), knitting (which I once did very badly) and a place in a retirement home ? Too grim to think about .

I never got to do a gap year when I was young, because it was't particularly popular at the time (the choice was hippy or yuppy, I chose the latter) and because we were poor as church mice.But at least I managed to make several major decisions (eg expatriation) without too much hesitation.

So why am I dithering? I guess it takes courage to turn your dreams into reality, and my courage seems  to have evaporated.

Whatever, the sun's out, the magnolia's blooming at last, the newts have returned to our pond, and next weekend is Popeye's "pirate birthday", with all the family and many (very) old friends together on an ancient cutter for the weekend.

Will now go + read the contract again